Writing spooky Halloween stories

Today we started learning about how to build tension for our spooky stories. We learnt that we should use 1. A simile 2. Some short sentences 3. An ellipses (...)
We looked at this picture, and then wrote a spooky description of the tree.








"The long grass is attacking the tree like fire. Scary sounds come towards me. The tree rattled. Heart pumping. Sweat pouring. I see dark in the sky. There is a spooky shadow in the grass. I see blood dripping from one of the branches…."

What do you think? Could we improve it? Add your ideas in the comments...